Russian Hijinks
by harusame11
Summary: Aka, a regular human, must rely on Russia's help as she adjusts to her new role as a country. Will the emotionally scarred Japanese girl be able to do it, or will Russia watch as she breaks?
1. Chapter 1

She woke with a groan and a pair of purple eyes staring down at her. The softness under her body suggested a bed of some sort, or a couch. The owner of the purple eyes had a scarf around his neck, and thick silver hair. Her thin clothes were no barrier to the cold that permeated the air, and she shivered. It took only a second to register these facts before she snapped to her feet.

_It was a couch after all,_ she thought. The man, obnoxiously tall, looked at her with gentle concern. She realized she was trembling with the cold and nerves, the result of an adrenaline rush.

"Who are you?" she asked him, keeping her muscles loose, but tensed, ready to run at a moment's notice.

"I should be asking you that," he said. He seemed to realize that she was fighting her fight-or-flight instinct right then and didn't move. "I am known as many things, but you may call me Ivan." He had a distinct Russian accent, she noted.

"My name's Aka. Where am I?"

"In my home. It's not in a place as you would think of it," he said. She nodded and relaxed; he hadn't tried to harm her and answered her questions readily and truthfully, if his body language was anything to go by. "How did you get here?"

"I'm not sure. I fell asleep in my bed last night," she answered while taking in the richly decorated room. She shivered again and impulsively brought her arms up to hug herself for warmth. He had every reason to ask that question, at any rate, she figured. "I'm sorry for troubling you, but if you could show me the door I can get out of your hair."

He smirked at that, which puzzled her. "You won't get very far."

"What? Surely you won't keep me here against my will," she sputtered, backing away from him, towards the door. She uncrossed her arms and let them hang loosely at her sides, tensed and relaxed.

"Of course not," he soothed. He walked towards her, his scarf billowing behind him and brushing against her face and arm as he passed her. "This way."

She had frozen, fear and blinding panic making her unresponsive. Ivan being behind her didn't help matters; she couldn't see him and as a result jumped when she heard the door click open. _Why can't I move?_ she thought furiously to herself. But then suddenly she could, and she spun around, dark hair following the movement. He was looking at her curiously, but let it pass and gestured for her to leave the room first.

They walked through the house quickly and quietly, the Russian's step as long as two of hers thanks to his long legs. He wore a grey-brown coat that ended at his knees, and rough trousers tucked into worn military boots. They made little to no sound as he walked, much quieter than her tennis shoes that squeaked with every step.

He opened yet another door, revealing a blistering cold and swirling snow. Aka, dressed as she was in thin jeans and a wife-beater, shivered. She caught the attention of the Russian, and his thick brows arched up with concern.

"I'm fine," she said, answering the unasked question. This time his brows arched with disbelief, but she shook him off and stepped outside. She turned to him and tried not to shiver as the wind and snow bit at her. "Well, thank you." Aka bowed to him, back straight, arms at front, hands politely folded and toes pointed forward.

"You are welcome," he told her. "And you are welcome to come back, should you wish to. I must recommend against staying in this cold for too long. It is harsh, even for Russia."

"Thank you," she repeated. She was tempted to say that she would not need his charity, but she didn't want to fight her pride should she be wrong. She turned to walk away, but he called her back.

"Here," he said, offering a coat to her. It was obviously an older version of the one he was wearing now. She debated for a minute before taking it with a bow. He smiled at her and shut the door gently, and she shrugged into the coat, which was surprisingly warm. Aka set off into the night, unable to shake the sudden feeling that she was trapped.

* * *

Russia watched as the strange human walked off, weaving slightly. The Baltic States were elsewhere in the house, leaving him by himself at the window. He wasn't completely sure how she got here; this was supposed to be an impossible place to get to. After all, he was simple an embodiment of the actually country of Russia, all of the countries were. He was at once real, and not real. The ravages of the land were portrayed on his body, the thoughts and feelings of the people kept him alive. The constant blizzard wore his body down, just as it wore down the ground of Russia in reality.

By all rights, she should not be here. She was not a country, she was not one of them. She was obviously Japanese; short in height, long black hair and amber eyes (which was interesting), and her name. "Aka" meant "red" in Japanese he was pretty sure. He'd have to ask at the next meeting. But enough of that. The girl would be back soon, and he needed to have a room prepared for her.

"Latvia," he called. The short country appeared, trembling slightly. "Prepare a guest room. We are going to be having a visitor for the foreseeable future."

"Who?" Latvia asked. "Who would want to stay here?"

Russia, who had turned away, rounded on him. His eyes were glowing in rage, but his smile was innocent. He placed his hand on the shorter man's head and _pushed_, earning a squealing apology. He released the country and watched as he ran to ready a room.

All he could do know was wait. He didn't dare fall asleep, not until Aka was back in the house. If he fell asleep, he would sleep through her beckons to let her in, and she would freeze to death, thinking he had broken a promise. Both of which appalled him. So Russia settled down with a book in the front room, a fire blazing nearby and water gently heating near it in a shallow pool.

* * *

**~A.N. So, first things first, I do not own Hetalia. I am far too lazy to ever write or draw something that great. Also, reviews would be appreciated. They make me happy, and I get writing done quicker. This was a short chapter to sort of test the waters, and see how this concept would be received. I will finish it regardless, but if people don't like it, I'll turn it into a crack fic and have all the countries baking _odd_ cookies or some such. If, however, it is liked, I can promise longer chapters!**

**Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this, and please, review!~**


	2. Chapter 2

It was fucking cold, Aka reflected. Even with the coat, her arms and torso ached with it. She kept her hands stuck in the pockets, fisted tightly so that her fingers wouldn't be frostbitten. She groaned and tucked her arms as close to her body as she could, huddling for warmth. Her toes were already numb, and her legs were following suit. Soon, she wouldn't be able to move at all, and she would freeze to death. Not a pleasant way to die. She trudged on, the seemingly endless forest before and behind her not encouraging her in anyway.

Aka stopped to stomp her feet to get circulation going in them and hopefully thaw her feet out a little. She had done this several times before, tingles of pain circling up her legs erupting each time. The pain had been less and less intense as time wore on, but it happened nonetheless. This time, however, nothing happened. Her feet were entirely frozen. She now had a matter of hours before frostbite kicked in and her feet fell off. She sighed, her breath misting.

She turned to look at her wobbling trail through the snow, the real mark of her passage. But what met her sight was the mansion. Aka dropped, landing on her butt in surprise. All thoughts of a morbid death were abandoned as she took in the warmly lit house that sat about twenty feet away from her. Her eyes were wide and her fingers were shaking, though with cold or shock she could not say.

A shadow crossed the window at the top, and it was then that she knew this wasn't a hallucination. She scrabbled to her feet as the door opened and Ivan peeked out, unsurprised that he saw her making her way to her feet.

"A tad nippy out, I take it?" he asked facetiously. She glared at him. "Please, come in."

She sighed and trudged into the markedly warmer house, sighing as he shut the door behind her.

"What kind of a fun-house is this? I've been walking for hours and I turn around once and it's like I never moved at all!" Ivan smirked slightly at her.

"I will explain later. Please, wait here, but take your shoes off." She did as bid as he went outdoors. The warm air bit at her face and ears, melting the frost on her hair. She examined her feet, noticing the pale skin and the fine bones within. Nothing seemed frozen off. The door opened behind her and she turned to see Ivan holding a bucket of snow.

"Follow me, please," he said. He walked into the kitchen, where a chair had been set in front of a fire and a shallow bowl of warm water sat. He gestured for her to take a seat on the chair, but hooked her feet on the edge of the pool, closer to the fire. Her feet started to burn fiercely as the fire warmed them, and she gasped.

"What're you doing?" she asked as he pulled some snow from the bucket he had placed nearby and form it into a rough ball.

"I have to thaw your feet sufficiently so that they won't suffer permanent damage when you put them in the water." He brought the snow to her bare foot, and pain shot up her leg, making her squeal in surprise and pain. She almost kicked out, but didn't want to tip the bowl of water over. He seemed relieved at her pain.

"Why are you putting cold snow on my frozen feet?" she demanded shrilly. Her amber eyes glared down at him, but even as he kneeled at her feet his aura commanded attention and respect.

"I am thawing them. I have already explained this." His fingers cradled her heel as he rubbed the snowball on the top of her foot, and she ached to clench her toes against the piercing pain, but she couldn't. Tears dripped from her eyes, and she turned away from him and wiped her eyes.

His hands were cold, but they felt warm against her skin. He had put down the snowball so that he could massage her blood back into circulating into her foot. She watched as long fingers worked magic-like warmth into her skin and muscle. Ivan's brow was furrowed in concentration, his innocent face betraying great focus and intelligence as he worked. She had heard of this home remedy for frozen extremities, thawing with snow, but had never seen it scientifically proven, let alone done.

"Try to move your toes," he ordered. She complied, and was thrilled when her foot arched and her toes pointed. Ivan nodded and proceeded to do the same with her other foot, slowly running snow over it.

Again she screeched in pain, and tears dribbled down her cheeks. She didn't bother to wipe them away. The rest of her body started to ache by this time as her ambient body temperature started to rise and it felt as if muscle spasms were taking over her body. Ivan took no notice as he rubbed her feet with his warm hands, returning warmth and blood to her feet. Her body tensed in a series of cramps, and she whimpered. Ivan glanced up at he before setting both of her feet in the water.

She shrieked. Pain enveloped her legs and poured up into her calves and thighs, settling in her stomach and making it hard to breathe. Her toes clenched and she bit her tongue, blood filling her mouth. Finally, it eased and she could stop biting. Her toes were still clenched because she was afraid to move them for fear of moving the water and reigniting the pain.

A blanket settled over her.

"Here, this will warm you up," Ivan's deep voice sounded from above and behind.

"That hurt, you jerk," she whispered, her energy drained.

"It had to be done." He wasn't apologizing, and she wasn't asking for one.

She snorted and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. The warmth slowly, oh so slowly, turned from pain to actual, pleasing warmth. She didn't even remember falling asleep.

* * *

"Are you warm?" Russia asked. He waited for an answer, and when it didn't arrive, he checked on the girl. She was fast asleep, her tiny fists keeping the blanket around her.

He sighed and picked her up, blankets and all. She was small enough to cradle in one arm, and he did so to check her temperature. He placed a hand on her cool forehead, and sighed once more. She stirred and turned her face from him, frowning in her sleep.

"What are you dreaming, little one?" he asked her softly. He placed his arm back around her, providing more support. Her eyes fluttered open as if in answer, and he was caught in their amber gaze. They reminded him of sunflowers; something he'd noticed when she first blinked awake in his study where Lithuania had carried her in when he had found her.

The eyes closed, and Russia shook himself from the daze he'd been caught in. The blizzard biting at the actual country of Russia was gnawing at his stomach. It was an unpleasant ache, one that he knew was going to get much worse before it got better. He knew that sleep was the only thing for it, and even then it was a temporary measure. He would retire as soon as Aka was settled.

Finding her room was easy, for Latvia seemed to know exactly which room he had wished to be prepared for her. He didn't miss the Baltic States' relieved sigh from the other end of the hallway as he went into the room.

He cradled her in one arm again and turned the bed down before settling her in the feathery depths. Russia pulled the blankets over her and turned down the gas lamps in her room before leaving. He shut the door almost completely, leaving a crack for fresh air to circulate, and then headed to his own room.

The Baltic States were waiting for him there, and he undressed and handed his clothes to Lithuania. Estonia had wrapped heated bricks and placed them at the foot of the bed, warming it for Russia. He nodded his tired thanks and slipped into bed. Before he nodded off, he gestured for Lithuania.

"Get a hot water bottle for Aka," he ordered. "She is nearly frozen through and needs all the extra warmth she can get. Also, some hot bricks would not be amiss."

"Yes, sir." The smaller country left, and Russia finally let himself succumb to slumber, knowing that sweet sleep would only dull the pain he was sure to feel tomorrow.

* * *

_It was warm, and comfortable. She reveled in it, knowing that moments like these were fleeting. The softness under her head was perfect._

* * *

_She was walking down a deserted lane in one of the Americas, she forgot which. It didn't matter, it was the same desolate wasteland no matter where she went. Gunfire sounded; she didn't even jump. She ran for the nearest cover and curled into a ball. She didn't know if it was aimed for her, or if she was in a cross-fire between two clans. Either way, she wanted no part of it._

* * *

_Searing pain traced a line down her back, over and over as she hung from the ceiling. "Almost over, darling," her Spy Master had said. "Almost. You need to know your punishment." Crazy giggles sounded before the blade drew another line, this one sweeping up to her shoulders. "This will be the prettiest picture!"_

* * *

_Night was standing at the edge of the cliff, the sun glinting off his dark hair, turning it purple. His sad eyes met hers, his wiry arm outstretched in invitation. She accepted it, and was pulled willingly into his arms. "Now we don't have to deal with this anymore," he whispered into her ear as he jumped._

* * *

_"What's this?"_

_"That," she answered her sister, "Would be a knife."_

_"Oh."_

_"It's very dangerous."_

_"Oh. Can I use it?"_

_"What?! Of course not!"_

_"But, Sis!"_

_"No 'buts', missy. Now off to bed, and make sure Night takes his pill. I'm off to relieve the guard at watch."_

_"Be careful."_

_"I always am, Angel!"_

* * *

She started awake, her last words in the dream echoing in her head. It was late morning, if the sun was anything to go by. Then she realized where she was.

When had she gotten to bed? She must have been carried, for she didn't remember walking. She hurriedly checked to make sure she was still clothed, and sighed in relief when she was.

Aka's feet bumped something at the foot of the bed when she swung her legs out of bed, and she lifted the thick comforters (there were two! She'd never been so spoiled in her life!) and saw a towel-wrapped brick. It still radiated warmth, and it was to that brick that she could thank for her toasty feet. There was a hot-water bottle that had been resting on her forehead at one point, but she had moved around and it fell off. She grabbed it and set it on the bedside table before starting to make the bed.

The bed was huge, with four columns rising from the corners and a roof at the top, almost like a canopy. There was a bedside table on each side of the bed, and the head and foot boards were intricately carved. An unused fireplace sat opposite of the bed, and huge windows faced the rising sun. Thick red carpet protected her feet from the cold, and an adjoining room revealed a toilet and a tub.

After using the facilities, she made her way to the kitchen, walking quietly in her socked feet. She didn't know what she would do if Ivan wasn't up. She sure as hell wasn't going to eat without him there. That's just rude. Luckily, he was up and having breakfast.

There was some for her, some sort of pancake-like thing, with some fruit and a boiled egg.

"Good morning," Ivan said, sipping his tea. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes. Thanks. You know, for carrying me. I'm sorry I passed out on you," she mumbled. A yawn and stretched grasped her, and when she lowered her arms and wiped the tears the yawn had forced from her, Ivan was smirking at her.

"You are welcome. Anyway, here is breakfast. There is tea in the pot, or if you prefer coffee, it is in the kitchen." He got up after draining his tea. "Find me after you eat. We must discuss last night."

She watched as he left, his scarf billowing out behind him, his boots making no sound on the hardwood floor of the living- and dining-room. She sighed and sat down in front of her plate, poking at the egg before spearing a strawberry slice with her fork.

She was not a breakfast person. She couldn't stomach the food so early in the morning. Usually, she would sip at some tea until lunchtime, but she was a guest here. She choked down the fruit and tried to eat the egg.

After mushing the egg around her plate for about five minutes, she decided to hunt down Ivan to talk.

She found him right away, in his study behind his desk. She stood just inside the door and knocked on the jamb, alerting him of her presence. He didn't look up, just raised a finger at her to "wait" and continued reading the sheaf of paper that currently held his attention. She waited patiently, with her head bowed and eyes glued to her feet.

Aka held perfectly still, years of watch taking over as she fell into her routine that her life had trained her for. She started to count her breaths, marking the time with her heartbeat. Her feet automatically rolled to the balls, and she lowered her center of gravity. Her head was still bowed, but her eyes were closed, seeking sound like a bat.

The rustle of paper, the shift of material as Ivan moved, the creaking of the house as it settled, it was all painfully obvious to her.

After three hundred and seventeen breaths, Ivan cleared his throat. She glanced up, snapped out of her meditative state, as she liked to call it, and sat down in front of his desk, where he was indicating.

"We need to talk about last night," Ivan started, steepling his fingers in front of his face and placing elbows on his desk. "Specifically, why you seemed to walk for hours but why, when you turned around, you hadn't moved but a few feet." His purple gaze shot through her, as if he could read her very thoughts.

"Yeah, we do," she said, crossing her arms. "I suggest you get started."

* * *

**~A.N. Hello! This chapter is longer, about twice as long, if my count is anything to go by. It's a filler chapter, kind of. I'm really excited for this story! I've written both Chapter One and Two in the same day, but I'm not going to post this one for a couple days. My goal (because I need one, apparently) is to update at least once a week. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it, and reviews are highly appreciated! Thanks!**


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